no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
