drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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