So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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