Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
