I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize