I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
How drunk are you?
Completed.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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