Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize