Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
