Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Randomize
