I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
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