i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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