no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
