I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
