i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
