Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
they're like a gay fantastic four
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
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