Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
My Sexting was not on an AP level
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
