I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Randomize
