who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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