honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
My Higher Power is John Stamos
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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