Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Randomize
