umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
