I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Randomize
