I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
