She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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