Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
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