Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Randomize
