i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
