Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
