If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
