he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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