I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Quick, to the slutcave!
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I have so many feelings about this burrito
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
