btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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