There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
i will never coherently bang her
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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