i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize
