the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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