I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
