he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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