Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
