Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
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