hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Randomize
