Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I lost the right to judge tonight
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
