I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I had to cum in my sink.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
