Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
handjob tips. give me some.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Randomize
