we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
