But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
