Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize
