Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
