Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Randomize
