We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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