My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
