your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
