wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Randomize
