I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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