I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
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