i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
