i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
