you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I just gargled with NyQuil
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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