Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
