I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
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