Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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