Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
