i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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