'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Randomize
