the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
