Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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